Oh scott, scott, scott....
It sounds as though you have recently visited some of your kinfolk in the southern US and picked up some of their 'special' dialect. But, I believe it is YOUR residential location that has taught you the knowledge of running water which you are undeniably proud of. After all, your choice of location is within close proximity to a landmark that sounds like a continuously flushing toilet.
And with all this talk of fluid flow and your mastery of plumbing... wasn't it your bike that was leaking like a sieve at mosport?
Oh, and wiki (you know what wiki is right?) polulation of niagra 82,997. Population of Kenosha 99,738 but I guess its hard to look that stuff up when you live in the sticks!
of course my snowblower has excellent transient throttle response...doesn't yours?